• Ode to online shopping #1

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O, computer, thou hast given me a jewel

I got it off Ebay, a diamante-studded watch

O, computer, the paper you print is better than money itself

Your coupons: jeez I love free coffee

O, online store, your virtual walls tempt me

Your delights that I may sample at 3am

O Ebay, Amazon, Metalicus Online,

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

At the moment, I am awaiting the arrival of a shipment of clothes from American Apparel Online. I don’t need to try these clothes on, because I can see them on the screen on a range of models. And get this; the models are normal people (well, slightly-better-looking-than-average normal people). American Apparel has a policy of using only amateur models and their own employees to model their clothes, so you can see each item of clothing on a few different body shapes. I punch in the numbers of my debit card, the clothes are shipped within one business day, and they land on my desk at work within six days.

A few weeks ago I went through a phase of pining for my uni days and ordered three books by French philosophers from Amazon.com. (Ironically enough, one of the philosophers had dedicated his entire book to a violent diatribe against consumerism. If he only knew…) This was when the US dollar was almost the same as the Aussie dollar, so I got the books for a song and shipping only took a few days.

On top of all this, I am a recovering Ebay addict. I can’t actually visit this website anymore: for a while there I was sourcing French shoes and watches every second day and dipping into my savings for clothes that, while beautiful, are now stubbornly clogging up my wardrobe, and for a few weeks caused me to eat baked beans on toast and walk home from work every day because I couldn’t afford a tram ticket.

So what’s the point? The point is, I almost can’t see any reason for actually, physically shopping anymore. In fact, I think this afternoon I will set up an account with Coles Online or some such supermarket to get my groceries delivered. Why waste time trawling the aisles getting distracted by lamingtons when I should be buying vegetables? The food will be waiting for me on my doorstep when I get home from work (unless the folks in my neighbourhood with other addictions discover it first) and I can get straight to cooking up a storm.

Why would I spend my Saturday afternoon walking up and down the street to find new clothes when I can do it at 3am in my bedroom and instead spend my Saturday afternoon expanding my musical horizons and sitting in the café around the corner from me deciding between an omelette and beans on toast? (These beans are homemade and far more refined and delicious than the tinned variety I am reduced to when my Ebay addiction grabs hold of me).

Okay, so maybe I am more frivolous than most of you, and spend my money on unimportant things. But for those of you who have important things to spend your money on (such as your home and your family), you can still benefit from the magical wonder that is online shopping. You can get an insurance quote over the internet, you can get your kids’ clothes and toys, you can buy birthday and Christmas gifts for family and friends, you can compare home loans and, of course, you can save time and preserve your sanity by ordering your groceries online too.

Get on it!

Rose

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